How Becoming a Mom Changed Me!!!!

No one ever tells you how much your life will change once becoming a mom. I mean it is crazy to think how different my life was before becoming a mom. Not just in what I did but in who I was as a person. Before being a mom, I was very brash and selfish. I lived my life on a whim of doing whatever I wanted without any regard for anyone feelings or thoughts.  I felt alone and empty with a void that could not quite be filled. Boy how all that changed once I held my beautiful little boy in my hands. 

It wasn't until I held my son in my arms and looked into his eyes that I truly understood what love was. At that moment nothing else mattered and from that point on he would always come before me. I never thought that I would feel that way but lord was I wrong.  Crazy how in that instant my whole perspective on life changed. Life wasn't about my wants or needs anymore, but about how I can give this little human being the best chance to achieve greatness and feel loved. You see once I had a child I wanted to be able to do all the things I felt I didn't have as a child growing up. 

Now, although I want to be able to give my son everything and do everything perfectly, as I have grown into my motherhood role, I have realized that nothing is perfect and we have to learn to let go of certain things and just wing it. I mean when my son 1st came I literally drove myself crazy and ragged trying to do everything perfect and be this perfect version of what I thought was a mom. Yet, what I was aiming for was not possible. It left me feeling drained and unable to be the best version of myself.  Now with that said, I try everyday to be the best mom I can be but also find a balance between being a mom and still finding time for me. 

I had to learn that not only am I a mom now but I am still me. I still have needs and wants. So without filling my cup back up, I am not able to fill others cups and be the person I want and need to be. So in becoming a mom it has changed me not just physically and emotionally but also mentally and spiritually. This will continue to evolve as my son grows and I also grow as a person, but I truly am so thankful for my son.  Before him I never wanted kids and was fearful of not being able to be the mom I wanted to be, but now I know that he was brought into my life for a reason.  He truly did open my heart back up from a cold dark place and truly gave me a purpose that I never thought possible. 

So in ending my 1st blog post in such a long time, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this and share in my journey. Also, that for everyone out there searching for something, it will come when the time is right. Believe that there is a higher power guiding you in your path.  Know that we all evolve and change and with embracing these changes we become a better version of ourselves.  

Faith. Hope. Love.